Fashion Stylist Shakira Elliott

Fashion Stylist Shakira Elliott

Bold and beautiful. Meet Shakira Elliott the newest Jungler across the Atlantic to join the ranks of Polyglamorous.

Shakira is a London based talented stylist offering services to private and professional clients. She works in television, and styles for photography and video shoots. She is also a fashion consultant on music tours, and offers everything from wardrobe management to assisted styling and personal shopping! Shakira has also styled celebrities such as Avicii, One Republic, and Tyger Drew Honey.

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From Monogamy to Polyamory

From Monogamy to Polyamory

What I appreciate about polyamory the most is its flexibility and its emphasis on communication, understanding, honesty, and emotional intelligence. You make your own rules. You stick to them, but you may change them as you need or as your circumstances evolve. You talk about everything with your partner(s).

Nowadays I like entering new relationships that are already open because I learned how to orient myself in an open/poly environment, I know what to expect, and I understand jealousy. However I believe there is something really interesting about starting out in a monogamous relationship and opening it up after a while.

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Ridicule

Ridicule

Ridicule is a strong and soft word. Sometimes ridicule is irritating and intolerable, other times it is light-hearted and humorous. Ridicule takes many forms, but deep inside usually contains a form of advice. Sometimes it's senseless and sometimes it's not. It's commentary about what others perceive to be your flaws. Ridicule (in the general sense) points out what others think is wrong with you and your extensions (friends, family, possessions, thoughts, identity), as well as general weaknesses. Sometimes ridicule comes with implied suggestions of how you should be. That is how it takes the form of advice. That doesn't mean we should take that advice, but we should be able to hear it.

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A Culture At Rest Tends to Stay At Rest

A Culture At Rest Tends to Stay At Rest

I am certainly skeptical of some of the views expressed on this blog. I am neither polyamorous or steeped in the glamor of the fashion industry. I am politically conservative on not only economic but social issues as well, I believe that religion has value that science cannot replace, I hesitate to equate what’s natural with what’s normative, and as a business consultant I spend most of my time in airports and board rooms. Obviously, my beliefs and lifestyle aren’t exactly aligned with the themes of this blog. Yet, Polyglamorous and I have a couple of fundamental beliefs in common. We believe that constant questioning is critical to human progress and that young people today aren't doing enough of it.

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On Being Wrong For Argument's Sake

On Being Wrong For Argument's Sake

I look back fondly on an old teacher of mine. The most influential thing he said to me was after we had an argument about strength and females. I was 15 at the time, I said men were stronger than women. He said he knew women who were stronger than him. I said if we lined up every man and every woman– if we paired the strongest man to the strongest woman- down the line- each man would be stronger.

He said- you don't know as much as you think you know.

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The Fun Starts Here–Let's Get Fit!

The Fun Starts Here–Let's Get Fit!

We like getting fit not just because we model. We are #Junglers and we stay fit because we want to be agile, flexible, strong, and able to defend ourselves in a zombie apocalypse. We want to be able to enjoy our lives to their full potential!

Jules and I have always been very active. As young children we both loved rough play, horsing and running around (we still do). I started doing kickboxing when I was sixteen and stopped for my modeling career (I always had too many bruises). When Jules was in high school he was on the cross country, wrestling, and track teams

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Intimacy Without Compassion Is Cruelty

Intimacy Without Compassion Is Cruelty

This post is defensive. As I expand my public profile and engage a larger community, I am reminded of relevant conversations I've had with friends. A lot of my friends joke that I would make a good cult leader. If anything, they mean it as an offensive, back-handed compliment. It has extremely negative connotations. I don't feel verbally attacked by these people, but their words are loaded comments aimed at me, which I feel should be addressed. If my closest friends can conjure these jests for playful sport, then opponents could certainly attempt to craft the same ideas for my detriment. Let's just be very clear.

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Evil Jealousy

Nightmare-In-The-Night-Skies

Jules Hamilton: Jealousy can be evil. Question: What is evil?

JH: Evil is immoral.

Q: What is immoral?

JH: I'll define something that is moral, is something that maximizes the wellbeing of concious creatures. Immoral does not.

Q: Do you ever feel jealousy?

JH: I have mostly unlearned jealousy, but I feel moments of something that could be called jealousy. At this point in my life, any momentary pang of jealousy I feel is very mitigated. I am familiar with the emotion when I sense it, and it doesn't overwhelm me. I don't direct any disdain towards others. Instead, I reflect upon myself to consider what the feeling was trying to tell me.

Q: Does that mean you are evil?

JH: No.

Q: Why?

JH: Because I believe my conscious effort for emotional intelligence has made me happier and better at spreading happiness as a result. That is moral, as I said, I believe something that maximizes the wellbeing of concious creatures is moral. Something that is moral is not evil.

Q: Do you maximize the wellbeing of concious creatures?

JH: In some sense, no. I try to do my best. There is always room for improvement, which I strive for. In another sense, yes. I "maximize" wellbeing by exercising control over myself and trying to have positive associations with the hormone oxytocin as much as possible.

Q: Does that mean you think people who feel unmitigated jealousy are evil?

JH: No. First of all, evil is acknowledgeably a very harsh word and I don't use it lightly. I would describe the unmitigated emotion as evil, but not the person. My reasoning is because unmitigated jealousy decreases the well being of concious creatures.

Q: What is jealousy?

JH: Jealousy is an emotional state.

Q: What characterizes jealousy?

JH: The hormone oxytocin. What's interesting is that the hormone oxytocin affects behaviors such as trust, empathy, and altruism. It also affects opposite emotions like jealousy and gloating. In ScienceDaily Simone Shamay-Tsoory said "Oxytocin seems to be an overall trigger for social sentiments: when the person's association is positive, oxytocin bolsters pro-social behaviors; when the association is negative, the hormone increases negative sentiments."

Q: If you believe in free will, and you believe a person has relative control over his associations, would you call a person who allows himself to have negative associations (or negative sentiments) with oxytocin evil?

JH: It entirely depends on why one is allowing oneself to have negative associations with the hormone.

Q: Can you imagine a scenario when you would call a person evil for feeling jealousy?

JH: I can not imagine a scenario when I would call a person evil for just feeling the emotion jealousy. I believe one should not judge people by their intentions, but judge them by their actions. For example, if someone allowed jealousy to overwhelm them to commit a crime of passion (murder), then I would call that person's actions evil. I would judge them for that.

Q: Would you call them evil?

JH: Without any other knowledge about a specific person who murdered, I would call them evil, provisionally.

Q: So what have you told us?

JH: I have told you what I think. I think jealousy is an ugly emotion that people can mostly unlearn if they exercise emotional intelligence. I think people should if they want to be happy and spread happiness.