What Is Love?

What Is Love?

The New York Times Bestseller Antifragile talks about things in our world that grow stronger from healthy stressors. The word "antifragile" describes systems that occur in nature, things that not only grow stronger from stress, but that actually weaken without positive stressors. A negative stress, for example, is a chronic stress; one that is never resolved and is ever present. Chronic stress breaks something that is antifragile; lack of stress weakens it. A positive stress is one that comes and goes, like physical stress from exercise.

Read More

Exclusive Interview With Christopher Ryan

Exclusive Interview With Christopher Ryan

On the subject of sex: "What I'm arguing against is the shame that is associated with desire. It's the idea that if you love your husband or wife but you are still attracted to other people that there's something wrong with you, there's something wrong with your marriage, something wrong with your partner. I think a lot of families are fractured by unrealistic expectations that are based upon this false vision of human sexuality." Meet Christopher Ryan, Phd., co-author of the famed New York Times bestseller Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships.  It's the winner of renowned scientific awards and referred to as "the single most important book on human sexuality since Aldred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948.

Read More

From Monogamy to Polyamory

From Monogamy to Polyamory

What I appreciate about polyamory the most is its flexibility and its emphasis on communication, understanding, honesty, and emotional intelligence. You make your own rules. You stick to them, but you may change them as you need or as your circumstances evolve. You talk about everything with your partner(s).

Nowadays I like entering new relationships that are already open because I learned how to orient myself in an open/poly environment, I know what to expect, and I understand jealousy. However I believe there is something really interesting about starting out in a monogamous relationship and opening it up after a while.

Read More

Curiosity Saved the Cat

Curiosity Saved the Cat

In his influential and oft-quoted book, The World Is Flat, Pulitzer Prize-winning author and pundit Thomas Friedman argues that “IQ still matters, but CQ and PQ—Curiosity Quotient and Passion Quotient—matter even more.” While I personally think that Friedman frequently oversimplifies complex concepts, I ardently agree with his assessment on the importance of curiosity and passion.

Read More

A Culture At Rest Tends to Stay At Rest

A Culture At Rest Tends to Stay At Rest

I am certainly skeptical of some of the views expressed on this blog. I am neither polyamorous or steeped in the glamor of the fashion industry. I am politically conservative on not only economic but social issues as well, I believe that religion has value that science cannot replace, I hesitate to equate what’s natural with what’s normative, and as a business consultant I spend most of my time in airports and board rooms. Obviously, my beliefs and lifestyle aren’t exactly aligned with the themes of this blog. Yet, Polyglamorous and I have a couple of fundamental beliefs in common. We believe that constant questioning is critical to human progress and that young people today aren't doing enough of it.

Read More

Tradition

Tradition

Someone recently asked me if I would ever consider being monogamous again.

I said I don't think so. My reasoning was I don't believe we are genetically monogamous; I believe we are culturally monogamous.

In my view, tradition is repetition masquerading around as truth.

I want to live true to myself.

Read More

Intimacy Without Compassion Is Cruelty

Intimacy Without Compassion Is Cruelty

This post is defensive. As I expand my public profile and engage a larger community, I am reminded of relevant conversations I've had with friends. A lot of my friends joke that I would make a good cult leader. If anything, they mean it as an offensive, back-handed compliment. It has extremely negative connotations. I don't feel verbally attacked by these people, but their words are loaded comments aimed at me, which I feel should be addressed. If my closest friends can conjure these jests for playful sport, then opponents could certainly attempt to craft the same ideas for my detriment. Let's just be very clear.

Read More

Polyamory as a Fluid Structure

Polyamory as a Fluid Structure

I want to stress how important it is to see polyamory as an approach or a mindset rather than a rigid relationship model or structure. Polyamory is very flexible in nature, and offers the ultimate freedom to partnerships, expression of sexuality and self. In fact, I find it of secondary importance how many people are involved in my relationships. I understand that many people choose (and prefer) to be with one person only, and that's perfectly fine! What I think is that not only everyone prefers a different relationship model, but also needs of any one person change throughout their lifespan. I know of a few exclussive and happy relationships, and I also have seen people marry in love, and then divorce a year later.

Read More